jodie speaks; well, at least she tries.

hello guys.i went shooting yesterday, for photography assignment.

http://zwonkymonk.multiply.com/photos/album/4/photo_assignment_24508

i used ben’s FM to shoot, and i’m pretty proud of the shots, even though most were a lil’ overexposed.

anyway, when i came back from shooting, guess what!

my mom found my dad’s really old slr, that he kept for years and years since he lost his interest about 10 years back. it’s a nikon fg, and i promptly named it JODIE. (not zeta pi jodi!)

so jodie and i have become quite good friends, but jodie has been really sad.

she has been kept in a dank, dark bag for more than 10 years, neglected and unwanted (thank god mom didnt sell it the the karanguni), and spoilt in certain areas.

her prime lens, cracked.

her mirror reflex, jammed.

her telephoto lens, FUNGUS, eugh.

but i still love her though. even though the repairs could cost up to $400, i still would keep her.

it just reveals a different side of my dad to me. now he’s all reserved, working as a technician, humble and contrite, but he used to be so ARTY FARTY, he used to be a photographer, he used to own a modelling agency, etc.

my dad wasn’t cool, he IS cool.

and i like.

SO! jodie WILL be repaired, and she will be my primary cam. sorry sharris, but you’re experimental. (:

sorry guys, no emo post this time.

larris

dabomb.

so i’m sitting here, playing some games on my mac, i’m trying my best to kill that blasted level 23 alchemist who has been bullying my creeps into submission, when he blinks behind me and delivers the killing blow.

thats it! command and q i press, and then i wipe my face.

ouch, it was only then i remembered i was having a major breakout on my face.

acne breakout that is.

but i’m not here to talk bout how ugly it is making my face, but rather the cause of it.

i’ve been keeping regularly late nights since about two weeks ago, each night staying up until about 2 am. either i’m rushing assignments, trying to study for tests, or i’m just talking to some new person i’ve met. well, some new girl i’ve met. call me a flirt, whatever, but you wouldn’t expect me to stay up all the way to 2 am talking to guys right?

other than that, i’ve been coming home late from school everyday, bout tennish or elevenish. ccas, clubs, friends.

too many things to do in one day.

now, i’m sure you’ve read my first post about me wanting to not keep a low profile in ngee ann but rather “explode in a ball of furry fun”. well, thats what i’ve been doing up until now, and i guess the effects are starting to show.

eyebags.

acne breakouts.

always falling asleep on the bus.

my mom always say it isn’t healthy, and what i’m doing now, i’ll only regret it once i’m older.

but i really wonder, will i really regret what i’m doing now just because i become sickly? will i go,

“cough cough, damn, i shouldn’t have gone for dance that night and stayed until 11 at kap, laughing my head off, then going home and helping my friend get over her boyfriend. boy, was i sure stupid.”

no, i don’t think so.

i’d think that i would really miss times like these, once i enter working life.

so i’ve always told my mum, i don’t think i’d regret it, i’d suffer, sure. i’d curse, yes. but i won’t regret what i’m doing here and now. no way, ho sei.

larris

the world and stuff.

hello readers.

guess what larris has dropped by to talk about today. life and death.

although this subject is pretty much cliched and stuff, i still have the nagging feeling that this post will bring you or me to a higher understanding of life and death.

NOT.

just kidding.

so today (yesterday, seeing as how its 2 in the a.m.) was mother’s day, and it was pretty shitty, shall not go into details, but i made this comment to alot of my friends today,

“today is the most fucked day of my life.”

but why? because i’ve just lost everything i owned in a fire? because my fiancee just died in a car accident on the way to the wedding? because my wife just had a miscarriage? no, not even close.

it causes me to think about how easy it is say things you don’t mean bout life in general.

one very common example;

“go and die lah.”

whoa shit. if you take a moment to think about those four words, what you’re actually saying is this: “get out of my life, you’re dead to me, you don’t exist to me anymore.”

which can lead me to talk about existentialism and all, but i’ll save that for another time.

anyway, “go and die lah”, “omg i wish i were dead”, “your mother died”,

all these words, we use them without really knowing what we’re saying. people these days have a very vague concept about death and the significance of life.

abortion, murder, child abuse, drug abusing, wrist cutting, body alterations… the list goes on.

have we become a species that is destructive to itself?

everyday we wake up, and forget the very fact that, we’re alive. hey, we’re alive, WE’RE FUCKING ALIVE.

people die by the thousands every second, and i’m still here, but guess what? i dont give a flying shit!

is this what we have become?

everyday i see more and more reports about terrorism, murders, people dying, and dying and dying.

its makes me think of the significance of the act of killing with intentions and motives.

does it really work? killing one to save another?

i dont think so, because the atomic bomb sure didn’t solve the war. open your eyes and ears, and you’ll realize that even in the peace and serenity of singapore today, some other country is either warring with another, or even warring within itself.

what are we.

as humans.

God said we are the caretakers of this world. but what are we doing to the world? we are KILLING it.

God said we are to be the caretakers of all the other living beings. but? we trade endangered species, poach elephants for their ivory, shoot tigers and rhinos for their medicinal purposes.

God said alot of things, but hey, we dont listen anymore.

of course this is all generalization.

but just think about it. if every single human being on this earth woke up one morning, slapped themselves in the face and go, “whoa! i breathe, i eat, i drink, i’m not alone, i’m ALIVE.” and proceed to slap every other person they see and say the same thing, i’m positive the world will be a better place.

“Be careful little feet where you go
For it’s the little feet behind you that are sure to follow”

remember kids, SIX DEGREES CAN CHANGE THE WORLD.

good night.

(to think this was supposed to be a post about some girl. LOL have fun reading leslie!)

ambitions, vocations, and the in-betweens.

just came back from a three day retreat/camp with the leaders of amplify ministry.

and decided to do a reflection on something that struck me during the camp.

fr william goh was giving a sermon about ambition and vocation, and he explained the difference between ambition, and vocation.

so,

AMBITION VS. VOCATION.

what is the definition of either one of them? ambition is the call or desire to do something from within, whilst vocation is the call to do God’s work, from withOUT, from God himself.

so it just propelled me to think about it. i knew my vocation, and that is to give myself to serve others, through my ministry. but, what exactly is my ambition? musician, photographer, film-maker, and whatevernot.

what exactly do i want in life? i mean, i joined film, sound and video for a reason. but somehow, i cant remember the exact reason.

“i want to reach out to people, through my movies and my work.” i remember saying something of that sort during my JPSAE interview. that much still remains, wholly and surely.

i want to inspire people to be all that they can be. through art, music, etc. i mean, thats why i joined this line, because i dont really think it’s gonna be that easy to inspire many lives if you’re an engineer.

i guess i’m pretty much a people person. put me on an island alone, and i’ll probably freak out alot worse than tom hanks in cast away.

gives me much to think about. not a very nice post, nor is it one that will score me an A, but it just really made me think.

guys, what are your ambitions? why not put it down in my comments.

larrris.