fuck this

im trash.

i have been trash, and will always be trash.
i always bullshit myself. and god knows for what.

i dont lie to my mother, or my friends. but i lie to myself.
i am always playing nice with people, but i belittle myself doing that.
i am a pathetic fuck.

i am childish.
i am a pussy.

i’m going to just bum around and live like shit until i burrow a hole into my own existence and get eaten up by it.

people say i’m passionate,
people say i’m a great leader,
but i am nothing but a parasite.

you are pathetic, larris. because you take the blame, and you dont do anything about it. you just continue eating shit, day after day.

how are you going to amount to anything this way?

just go.

go fuck up your life.

i dont give a shit anymore.

you never do, and you always fuck up. you have to start giving a shit, man. you’re fucking destroying yourself.

larris, you promised leonard.
you gave your word to andrew.

dont fuck it up anymore.

okay

so i’ve set up a tumblr account.

dont ask me why. i tend to do stupid things at 3-4am in the morning, trust me.

anyway its pretty fun.

houzuki.tumblr.com

rockstar;

today was a day well spent.

i had a great afternoon with basstitude adele.
the funny little girl was trying to eat more and more just to get into a bigger size dress that she wanted from topshop. what a daft.

i hope to hang out with her and her slowmo john sometime soon.

aint it a good little thing to not see each other for about half a year and go out and have everything normal as always.

my girlfriend drives me nuts. in the best way possible.

bye

.

.

hi god, i love you.

once again;

it’s that time again, people.

there will always be a point in my life where i evaluate the people i call my “friends”, and realize how few of them actually are.
tonight is one of them.

to me,
friends are people i’d give my life for.

it’s good though, to know that the amount of people i’d die for has pretty much increased since the last time i thought about this.
although a fair amount of people has left the “list”.

i cant fucking stand hypocrites. they disgust me.
i am a hypocrite. i disgust myself.

goodnight.

you’ve got your own;

you know,

i said this to faz just now.

“girls can make really good friends, but they can never ever replace brothers. you dont do the same fun shit that you do with guys.
so once you have that girl that you love so much, for me it seems like i dont need female friends anymore. cos she’s all i need from the opposite sex.”

apparently certain people dont think the way i do.

i’ve seen many relationships destroyed cos of intersexual “BFFs”.
so get the fuck away, if you know what’s good for you.

alone in the dark;

anyway,

im currently dling some nevermore.
it really brings me back to my woodgrove days when i would listen to some brutal metal shit with my motorokr e1 (which could only store 50 songs wtf?!)
listening to music whilst eating during recess, listening to music during flag-raising, listening to music during lessons. hell yeah brutal metal indeed \m/

scott came over to sit under my place. talked about backstabbing bitches from jc and/or millenia, and bought some amsterdam. good dutch drink. heh.

okay i’ve got busking tomorrow. not really up for it tho, cos my body still feels weak from the sickness that ravaged my body the past weak.

jamming on thursday. i cant wait.

how about;

today was an unexpectedly good (almost) day.

finished my editing project (fuck yes.)
met brr and had dinner with her.
went for bloco/voodoo.
lepak with bloco.

whilst with bloco biswas gave me a call and said he and some of the guys were under my block (?!!!).
so went to meet them and sat there talking shit til 3.30.

good times.
best enjoyed with company and cheap gabriel-rolled cigarettes.

hoi

one of the reasons why i still bother waking up in the morning (or afternoon).

cant;

fucking wait for the holidays.

i need to get back to my strings.
anyone got job openings for my two month break?